To ease loneliness we first need to find friends within ourselves. We can start by connecting with our own positive qualities, such as love and compassion. We can learn to treasure and value these inner qualities and draw our strength from them first and foremost.
These qualities are our inner conditions for interdependence and are our closest and most reliable allies in negotiating the outer conditions of our interdependence. Within each of us there is a deep well of potential goodness — of radiance and nobility.
The problem is that we do not always know how to draw from this well or make it a source of ongoing sustenance and support. You could think about it this way: Perhaps when you feel lonely, it is actually your positive qualities that are lonely. It could be your goodness that has become surrounded by adverse factors, unhealthy habits, and cold attitudes. You can surround your own lonely potential for goodness instead with supportive factors and warm attitudes. You can become a friend to your basic radiance and wholeheartedly, unequivocally nurture your own positive qualities. This can bring a quality of warmth and richness to your time alone. Even if no one else is around you, you can experience connection rather than isolation.
– 17th Karmapa