Learn to nourish yourself and your loved ones with joy. To love someone means to understand them. It means knowing how to bring them joy and happiness in concrete ways. If you act skillfully, your words and actions will make the other person feel fresh and light. Sometimes a kind word or two are enough to help them blossom like a flower.
We have to learn the art of creating happiness. If during our childhood we saw our mother or father do things that created happiness in the family, we will already know how to do this. But if our parents did not know how to create happiness, we may not know how to do it either. In our practice community, we try to learn the art of making people happy. The problem is not one of being wrong or right, but one of being more or less skillful.
Creating happiness is an art. Living together is an art. Even with a lot of goodwill, you can still make the other person very unhappy. Goodwill is not enough. We need to know the art of making the other person happy. Art is the essence of life. Try to be artful in your speech and actions. The substance of art is mindfulness. When you are mindful, you are more artful. This is something I have learned from the practice.
Thich Nhat Hanh