The sense of the self is very much behind everything we do. That’s why I’m always saying, you have to temper your sense of self – though you cannot get rid of it – but if you want peace in your life, you have to temper your sense of self. Do not engage the self like how a blacksmith gives more strength to the red hot iron by dipping it in water, putting back in the fire, then putting back in water. Like that, if you excessively cherish yourself, thinking you have to always win, always be right, it always has to be your victory or otherwise you’ll have no enjoyment of life – that’s giving too much strength to the sense of self. The self gets spoiled in that way, but in the end, you only suffer more.
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche