There’s no way to make a dreadful situation pretty. But we can use the pain of it to recognize our sameness with other people. Shantideva said that since all sentient beings suffer from strong, conflicting emotions, and all sentient beings get what they don’t want and can’t hold on to what they do want, and all sentient beings have physical distress, why am I making such a big deal about just me? Since we’re all in this together, why am I making such a big deal about myself? Whatever usually drags us down and causes us to withdraw into ourselves is actually the stepping-stone for awakening our compassion and for contacting the vast, unbiased mind of the warrior.